I recently took some time away from Eve. I've been reflecting a lot on it, which is kinda weird. However, this isn't the first break I've taken and there are some similarities I've found in every one of these absences.
A break is good sometimes. After too many months of sinking more time into this game than just about any other aspect in my life, internet spaceships begins to actually seem like serious business. Losses start to seem suddenly important. KB stats are watched closely. Tempers begin to flare over imagined slights against imagined character. Stress begins to find its way into what is ostensibly an escape from stress. In short, you get way too wound up. Then, you start to log on because you feel like you owe it to everyone else. You play, not for fun, but out of obligation. Like a job. This leads to burnout. You just get tired. You find yourself loathing logging in. You begin to resent the game.
Thus, we get to the good parts of taking a break. You get to recharge. Your time away allows you to wash away all that negative shit. Then, when you finally venture back online, you see it fresh and the things that got you hooked originally hook you again. The thrill of blowing shit up. The camaraderie. The antics on comms. Even the vile fleet porn links.
The bad generally depends on how long you were gone. A few weeks comes with almost no drawbacks. But, if you drop off the radar for several months, like I did, it's not always so pretty when you return. Especially so if you are a director. Granted, as it's been stated, I'm a pretty shit director who didn't do much anyway, but when you return you find what little you did do is being done better by others. You find that the slew of patches that came out while you were away have fundamentally changed everything and you spend weeks trying to catch up. You find new members who don't even know who you are. The cozy atmosphere you created is replaced with one where you question what it is you are supposed to even be doing. Further, the corp you left may not be the same one you come back to. May still be the same people and same name, but things change when you're away.
Generally, the best thing I've figured out to do is to simply go out in fleets, chat in corp chat, and spend time reconnecting on comms. Before long, you feel reintegrated. Your rustiness begins to fade, and so does that feeling of uselessness. That, and it's hard to be bummed when you blow up a fleet of minnies in shinier shit.
Anyway, I'm just using this post as a way of dumping the things I've been thinking onto screen and maybe purge some of it. Catharsis by verbal diarrhea or whatever.